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Sensitive Situations and Sexuality

Writer's picture: Anna Sherman, RP, MFTAnna Sherman, RP, MFT

Do you ever find yourself feeling pressured to answer a question you really aren’t comfortable with?


Sometimes, we feel obligated to explain ourselves to whomever chooses to question us on our life’s circumstances. It’s almost a knee-jerk reaction to defend ourselves or explain things that may appear questionable…


Truthfully though, personal questions are called that for a reason- they’re personal! And anything that is personal, automaticity means that you have no obligation to share information unless you choose to do so.


The next time someone asks something you’re not entirely comfortable addressing, think twice before answering. There are many things you can respond with that can redirect the conversation elsewhere.


 


“ℂ𝕠𝕞𝕞𝕦𝕟𝕚𝕔𝕒𝕥𝕚𝕟𝕘 𝕪𝕠𝕦𝕣 𝕤𝕖𝕩𝕦𝕒𝕝 𝕟𝕖𝕖𝕕𝕤 𝕕𝕠𝕖𝕤 𝕟𝕠𝕥 𝕞𝕒𝕜𝕖 𝕪𝕠𝕦 𝕕𝕖𝕞𝕒𝕟𝕕𝕚𝕟𝕘, 𝕤𝕖𝕝𝕗𝕚𝕤𝕙, 𝕠𝕣 𝕤𝕙𝕒𝕞𝕖𝕗𝕦𝕝. 𝕐𝕠𝕦𝕣 𝕡𝕝𝕖𝕒𝕤𝕦𝕣𝕖 𝕚𝕤 𝕖𝕢𝕦𝕒𝕝𝕝𝕪 𝕒𝕤 𝕚𝕞𝕡𝕠𝕣𝕥𝕒𝕟𝕥 𝕒𝕤 𝕪𝕠𝕦𝕣 𝕡𝕒𝕣𝕥𝕟𝕖𝕣’𝕤 𝕡𝕝𝕖𝕒𝕤𝕦𝕣𝕖.” - 𝔸𝕟𝕟𝕒 𝕊𝕙𝕖𝕣𝕞𝕒𝕟, ℝℙ There is a difference between self-ish and self-care.

Being needy and having needs. Communicating your needs does not make you a selfish or needy person; it simply communicates the idea that you’re one full half of a relationship, and in order to give fully to your other half, you need to be seen, considered and respected. We cannot pour from an empty cup! Since intimacy is about the connection between two people, it’s not a whole lot of fun to engage in intimacy with a partner who is not receptive or enjoying themselves. So communicating your intimate needs is beneficial to both of you! The better the communication, the deeper the connection.


 

So many women are taught unhealthy messages about sexuality. Here are a few of them:

  1. Men enjoy sex more than women

  2. If you don't give your husband sex, he will cheat

  3. Men don't like it when…

  4. Men find submissive women more desirable

  5. “Good girls” don't talk about sex

  6. Always follow your husbands lead

Were you taught any of these growing up? What messages did you receive?

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